Today is always the last day.
Tomorrow I will not diminish myself into tears and dust.
Tomorrow I will not prop open my jaw to
consume, consume, consume
until my stomach explodes with guilt.
Tomorrow I will not etch grief into my skin with my fingernails.
Tomorrow I will not burden my knees
to hang my head over a toilet bowl.
Tomorrow I will not smoke myself into oblivion
and live in a space outside my own head.

Today is always the last day, I tell myself,
but I wake up in the morning
with puffy eyes from crying,
a stiff jaw and stomache from binging,
crusted blood stuck to scratches on my forearm,
a sore throat from stomach acid,
aching lungs from thick smoke.

I wake up tomorrow
still who I was today;
still who I don’t want to be.

There Is Never A Today When I Will Be Okay; Maybe Tomorrow by Robi Foli  (via veganbullshit)